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Before we got to where we are today, being able to communicate with clarity and ultimate understanding, before we became certified in the DISC Model of Human Behavior, before we launched the very successful, “The Marriage Revolution Course” and Retreats…there was a corporate guy climbing the ladder of success and a stay at home mom very busy with everyday life.
We got caught in the trap of busyness.
Throwing ourselves in a million different directions except, towards each other.
Only to wake up one day to realize the pain that if we didn’t make a change, then everything we loved could be in danger of being ripped apart. Desperate to find help, we searched out mentors, courses, and retreats.
We were just like many of the couples around us…
While Chris was traveling and working a ridiculous amount of hours for his high powered corporate job, I was busy being overwhelmed running a household by myself. My days consisted of teaching our three children how to conjugate a verb, getting them to basketball, volleyball, and baseball practices, and taking care of everything else in between. This resulted in both of us throwing ourselves into bed each night exhausted.
Neither of us had much to give each other at the end of the day, and sex? Wellllll, if we weren’t arguing, happen to be under the same roof, and the stars aligned it happened, lol.
The warning signs were there, we were entering into the “danger zone.” At this point we were in our 10th year of marriage (research has shown that many divorces happen between years 8 and 10). Our communication lines seemed to be getting crossed more and more, and Chris had fallen into what is now named “the mechanical husband”…he was working hard to provide, but was emotionally unavailable. And I had turned 100% of my focus to the kids, not allowing myself to deal with my emptiness. We were both at the later half of the, “For Better or Worse.”
And then we got the wake up call that changed everything…
We’ve named this time…
This was the perfect storm for our marriage to become just another statistic.
Chris started traveling more and when he was home the kids, the chores and life took precedent over us.
I was feeling unappreciated, misunderstood, and my love tank was running on fumes.
Chris was feeling neglected, distant, and disrespected by me at every turn.
An emotional affair was brewing like a tropical storm and it had the potential to destroy everything in its path if we didn’t act quickly.
FYI…An emotional affair is described when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship.
This was me, I was starting to feel closer to a man that was NOT my husband, not Chris! I was sharing intimate details of my feelings and inner self that I had turned off due to hurt feelings, misunderstandings and loss of trust. I had to tell Chris what was going on, I had to end this unhealthy relationship before something happened I knew I would regret!
Painful “heart-to-hearts” were had between us. There was a lot of tears shed and long hours staying up talking into the wee hours of the morning. We sought out friends and family, desperately trying to restore what we knew was truly a deep LOVE between us.
Forgiveness was step one, then apologizing to each other for “checking out” and settling.
We read every relationship book out there, went to marriage seminars and even taught classes in our home for years. We didn’t just want good, we wanted GREAT!
All the information was always just “good,” it told us that we should love, honor and respect each other.
We totally agreed with all that…
…but how is that done exactly???
Even though we were now committed more than ever to having a happy and fulfilled marriage, it still seemed as if the differences that originally brought us together in the beginning were slowly becoming irritants to us both.
HELP!
No one was teaching the “how” only the “why”. It was like having the peanut butter without the jelly, yuck!
Until one day we stumbled across a system, a blueprint, a step by step process that changed everything! It revolutionized our marriage…
Learning our personalities and how we interact with each other in every situation was the missing key! How in the world are we expected to fully love each other without proper understanding? Duh!
We discovered that we were complete opposite personality types. Chris is fasted paced, outgoing and task oriented, I am slow paced, reserved, and people oriented. These differences were actually what attracted us to each other back in 1991 when we first started dating.
But over the years…
These became the differences that were at the core of most arguments and conflict…in fact it’s two sides of the same coin.
The very differences of our spouse that are meant to complete us, often are the ones that deplete us.
We have now partnered with our mentor Dr. Robert A. Rohm to bring this revolutionizing information to every marriage across the globe. It’s that powerful!
What is your unique DISC Personality Style
Answer: I am a I/DS, I enjoy having fun doing tasks that have a purpose.
If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Answer: The ability to fly 100%
What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Answer: Same as Tara’s…Graeters Black Raspberry Chip! But I haven’t really met an ice cream flavor that I didn’t like.
What are 3 things only your close friends know about you?
Answer: I make popcorn in my Whirlypop popper just about every night. I haven’t slept longer than 6 hours a night in over 30 years. I am related to the royal Italian family that donated the Borghese Gardens to Italy.
What is your unique DISC Personality Style
Answer: I am a S/IC, I am very nurturing while having fun that makes sense, lol
If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Answer: Creating teleporting portals…one moment in my house , the next on the beach in Hawaii. It could be the next Uber business $$$
What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Answer: Ooh, that’s an easy one…Graeters Black Raspberry Chip! It’s a Cincinnati, Ohio company, but can found at some grocery stores. No other ice cream flavors compare.
What are 3 things only your close friends know about you?
Answer: I like to binge watch Netflix shows, I’m oddly addicted to watching documentaries, and I have a Christmas ornament collection worth over $10,000. What? I love Christmas!
