One of the first exercises Tara and I have couples do is to write down the things they love about their spouse. We have them write them on their bathroom mirror, the refrigerator or somewhere they can REMIND themselves as to the WHY they married each other.
The reason is that when things get tough…we need an anchor to our WHY.
Do you remember he day you realised you had fallen in love with this person? Can you recall the butterflies of excitement standing at the alter?
For me, closing my eyes and going back to that day…
It was Saturday, September 19th, 1992 for me and Tara Borghese. A beautiful fall day in Columbus, Ohio..72 degree’s, bright sun..the church was decorated with a beautiful arch with lights that we stood under during our vows. She was and is the most beautiful human on the planet.
I married her because of her commitment to the Lord, how she handled herself-so confident and secure. I loved how we would talk for hours and it would go by so fast. I loved how smart she was/is..and processed life. To this day Tara makes me laugh with her witty sense of humor.
I loved how she was a great mother (she had a son that I adopted)-tender and caring, and would be the same for ours. Heck, I loved how she breathed 🙂
Now, close YOUR eyes and GO BACK to that moment…remember the feelings, the smells, the emotions, what was said, your best thoughts and memories of that day. The way once glance in your direction would make your heart skip a beat.
No one goes into a marriage thinking “Ya know, I hope this does not work out”. No, we firmly believe this is the one! It’s everyone’s desire to have this life long love.
When issues arise in our marriage (and they do) I go back to that amazing day. There is always a reason WHY I married Tara and there is a reason why you married your spouse. The way they strengthened your weaknesses, the way you found them so interesting and wanted to spend every waking moment with them.
Remember those reasons when things get tough. When the grass may look greener on the other side (it’s not by the way.)
“For better or for worse, for sickness and in health, for rich or for poor”.
Remember the commitment you made.
Commitment is what will get you through the tough times and it’s easier when you remember why you committed to your spouse.
We know that life can get complicated, and relationships are messy. This is why we have a passion to come along side couples that are struggling and offer hope and help.